60 Year Old Man’s Dying Wish for His 80 Year Old Parents

An Untold Story of a Son’s Wish while Dying from Terminal Cancer

From babies, to children, through the hard teenage years, and even into early adulthood for some, we are taken care of by our parents in every possible way: physically, emotionally, and financially. Parents provide their children with shelter, clothing, food, and more importantly, unconditional love. It’s not until late adulthood, if we are lucky, that the roles become completely flipped. It’s an age old question many of us find ourselves asking, “how can we help care for our aging parents?”

Kerry Donald Benson, age 60 of Salem, Oregon, a loving and concerned son, found himself asking himself this exact question as his senior parents entered their eighties. Kerry D. Benson (Kerry Jr.) was born and raised in Salem Oregon, by his parents, Kerry Sr. and Patricia Benson, now 83 years old of Salem, Oregon (pictured below).

They attended South Salem High School in the mid 1950’s and started dating as teenagers. Kerry Sr. recalls asking his wife out on a date 68 years ago in the South Salem High School parking lot, “On October 21st, 1955, we went out on our first date to the drive-in on Pat’s 15th Birthday and we have been together ever since”. The couple wed on July 10th, 1957 and have been married for over 66 years. They have 3 children, 9 grand children, and 9 great grandchildren.

Back in September 1968, Kerry and Patricia bought their home in NE Salem and raised their 3 children in that house. As the years went by, Kerry and Patricia’s kids started having kids and the Benson family home on 21st street became the hub for countless birthdays, Thanksgiving dinners, Easter brunches, and excitement filled Christmas mornings. Several special family gatherings were spent under that roof, 52 and a half years worth of memories to be exact.

“That house felt like a second home–not merely due to the house itself, but the feeling you felt the moment you walked in the door. Grandma and Grandpa’s love for all who entered was present, but nothing was more evident than how much they cherish their family–every gathering without fail, you’d catch one of them say in pure admiration looking around at the crowded family room, “we made this.”

-Kelsey Mangan, Granddaughter

While it was such a great childhood home full of great memories for Kerry Jr. and his two younger sisters (Kyra Dammarell and Kim Morrow of Salem, OR), Kerry Jr. was witnessing his parents age and he worried about the safety and upkeep of his parent’s 1940’s home, including the maintenance of the massive and pristine backyard that Kerry and Pat meticulously kept up and the dangerous multi-level concrete stairs throughout.

Kerry Jr. would brainstorm over and over on how he was going to get his parent’s out of the home before an accident could occur. He soon realized that there was an open lot, not for sale, directly next to his house located in South Salem. After a long, drawn out, and not so easy mission, Kerry Jr. was able to purchase the lot next to his. “My brother was elated that he came up with a solution and was able to help our parents. I remember him excitedly telling me, “Mom and Dad will be living right next door!” recalls Kim Morrow, Kerry Jr.’s younger sister. It appeared to be a win win situation.

Shortly after purchasing, they broke ground and a beautiful, but more importantly, a safe home was built for Kerry and Pat to reside in. The home includes a ground level master bedroom/bathroom and a ground level laundry room. Upstairs there are 2 bedrooms, a bath, an additional kitchen option area along with additional hookups for a washer and dryer. My brother explained to me “The house is set up for a caretaker to live up there if mom and dad need that down the road”, recalls Kyra Dammarell, Kerry Jr.’s youngest sister. While Kerry and Pat were apprehensive about selling their fully paid off home and somewhat sad about leaving 52 and a half years worth of memories, the excitement of making new memories living next door to their son, made up for it.

Fast forward to November 2020, the couple moved into their new home next to their son. Just a few short weeks after the move, Kerry Jr.’s 27 year old son, suddenly passed away. Three months later, as the Benson family was still grieving and trying to process the tragic and senseless loss, Kerry Jr., was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer and on August 4th, 2021, Kerry lost his battle. As Kerry Jr.’s daughter, Kyla recalls the events, her eyes begin to tear up.

“My dad lost his son and my grandparents lost their grandson. 3 months after losing my brother, my father, was diagnosed with a terminal cancer. I get emotional about the absolutely devastating time it was to live through, not just for me, but for my entire family. Just 5 months after being diagnosed, we lost my dad to the ugly and disgusting disease. Within 8 months, my family lost my 27 year old brother and my 60 year old dad. My grandparents buried their grandson and shortly after, buried their son– something that no grandparent or parent should ever have to do. “

-Kyla Benson

It’s been a rough couple of years for the Benson family with grieving, coping, and trying to heal from the unfathomable deaths that took place. Through all of this, 83 year old Patricia battled breast cancer.

Even through all the sadness and tragedy, as you step foot into Kerry and Patricia’s house, you are immediately flooded with a sense of love and the feeling of home. Pictures of family, including several photos of their son and grandson, fill the walls and frames throughout the house. Kerry Jr. had a strong love and fascination for hummingbirds. Hummingbird feeders line the house in the backyard and the back window is covered in hummingbird decals.

Kerry Sr. says, “We planted two dogwood trees out back. One for our son and one for our grandson”. Teary eyed Patricia adds, “Our son designed and built this house. He lived and passed away next door and we feel his presence here. This house is the last thing that ties us to our son and it makes us feel closer to him.”

Kerry Jr. built a house next to his for his parents, unbeknownst to him that he would pass before them. Just days after finding out he was dying of a terminal cancer, Kerry Jr. sought legal counsel and created a Trust for his family as well as a lifetime rental agreement for his parents signed by his wife, ensuring that Kerry and Patricia would be taken care of as they continued to age. His dying wish was for his elderly parents to have a safe home for the remainder of their lives. Kerry Jr.’s wife was made the Settlor and Trustee of the family Trust and she promised her husband that she would continue to fulfill his wishes after he passed.

“These past few years have been so difficult, but I felt a little sense of relief knowing my dad is looking down on us, content, knowing his wish was being fulfilled”, adds Kyla.

Fast forward to now.

It’s been a little over two years since Kerry Jr. has passed. Since his passing, Kerry Jr.’s former wife, a local realtor in town and ironically, using the Benson family name in her real estate business, has sold the home next door to his parents, a house he owned prior to his marriage with her. With the profits and equity from her husband’s home, plus his pension, and a hefty sum of inheritance, Kerry Jr.’s prior wife has since purchased a luxury home at the prestigious Illahe Hills Estates, an additional beach house on the Oregon coast, and land for a future custom home build located at Detroit Lake; funds that were meant to keep his parents in their current home. In addition to the multiple real estate purchases, Kerry’s former wife is already engaged to be wed to someone new. Just three days before Christmas, the former wife texted Kerry and Pat informing them that she will be selling their home within the next month. While she gets ready to jet set off to Maui to be remarried, Kerry and Patricia Benson are left devastated.

“I wouldn’t normally care what people do with their money, however, I am invested due to the financial family obligations and promises with my parents that are being completely broken”, explains Kim Morrow. “We felt this was the best way to share our story and get our message out, as well as inform our friends and extended family”, explains Kyra Dammarell.

Unfortunately, after multiple attempts of family members requesting official legal copies of the family Trust, the former wife refuses to divulge any documents. Finding out that they will soon be without a home, just three days before Christmas, 83 year old Kerry and Patricia have been forced to seek legal counsel.

Several tears have been shed, hearts are breaking, and promises have clearly been shattered. Kyla leaves with a warning, “Please choose very wisely on who your friends are and who do you business with.”

A Go Fund Me account has been created for Kerry and Pat to help with legal expenses.

Click Here for Go Fund Me Page

“Thank you for your donations, prayers, and love during this extremely stressful and difficult holiday season, we truly appreciate it.”

-The Benson Family